January 4 – Two wings of practice
Dear Friends, In the third talk from the retreat, “The Brahma Viharas for Insight and Wisdom,” Jill brings in lots of ideas to unpack – so I’ll take a couple of days to bring out a few points I found helpful. Jill starts off by explaining two extremes we might notice in our own lives – one of indulgence, and one of self-mortification, often expressed as inadequacy, unworthiness, or self-loathing. At work yesterday, I had to juggle a lot of things in an efficient manner – it was stressful! Inadequacy said, “You should have checked on that account set up before. You are so disorganized.” Indulgence said, “Eat another cookie mom sent home last week – it tastes good and the little sugar hit feels good!” You might have your own version of that push and pull. Jill says an antidote to these unbalanced views is that we can flex…
January 16 – Welcome and entertain them all!
Dear Friends, As we open to the experience of emotions, sometimes, it’s enough to label them, to get a gap between the experience of the emotion and our habitual response. There’s a poem by Rumi, “The Guest House,” that reminds us that emotions are normal: This being human is a guest house.Every morning a new arrival. A joy, a depression, a meanness,some momentary awareness comesas an unexpected visitor. Coleman Banks, The Illuminated Rumi, as shared herehttps://gratefulness.org/resource/guest-house-rumi/ But then Rumi continues… Welcome and entertain them all! Sometimes that’s not so easy. One technique that can be helpful is the practice of RAIN, an acronym developed by Michele McDonald and popularized by Tara Brach. Tara’s most recent book delves deeply into the practice, so if you want to learn more, I recommend you check out Radical Compassion: Learning to Love Yourself and Your World with the Practice of RAIN. Here’s a short…
January 12 – Staying aware yet compassionate
Dear Friends, Continuing with the talk from Kamala Masters, “Equanimity-Seeing the World with Quiet Eyes“ Kamala poses a second question we can ask ourselves.How can we stay aware yet compassionate towards ourselves when we do react? She says, We oftentimes judge ourselves after [reacting]. Then we’re paralyzed again, because we did or said something, it caused a kerfluffle, and now what do we do?We can bring equanimity there also. Kamala describes equanimity as: spacious, calm, balanced, well-grounded. Embodied, compassionate wisdom. She clarifies that it’s not like balancing on a razor’s edge, but rather like being on the top of a grounded mountain, and you see all sides. She says there is courage, patience, flexibility, perseverance, a sense of agency. This spacious balance implies that the heart and mind can be big enough to contain all that life presents. Not just what we prefer. She then shares one of my favorite…
January 7 – From a balanced mind and an open heart
Dear Friends, Just a few concluding reflections on Sally Armstrong’s talk, “The roles of mindfulness, metta and equanimity in our practice“. Here are Sally’s closing comments in this talk: That’s the possibility of these practices. Landing in the present moment, knowing what’s happening, in our direct experience. Feeling that connectedness with the external, with other, with the world, with nature. Opening the heart to this potential of kindness, of metta. Bringing this balance, this resiliency of mind. This is this amazing tripod – very sturdy – the foundations of our practice that allow us to open, to learn to trust ourselves, and to find the freedom that’s possible. That’s on this path, in this path, here and now. From a balanced mind and an open heart. Guided meditation: This recent recording from Tara Brach weaves mindfulness and kindness together, in a balanced way – much like what Sally has been…
January 6 – The path of metta
Dear Friends, There are many ways to cultivate mettā. Many teachers will lead a practice with the use of phrases. I like how Christina Feldman describes the purpose of these phrases: “The conscious cultivation of metta as a meditative pathway employs the use of a few simple phrases that give shape and language to the intention of metta. There is nothing sacred about the phrases that I will suggest. It is important to find words that are meaningful to us, that we can use with ease. The words are secondary; they are the ways we begin to learn to sustain the intentions of kindness and befriending. pages 23-24 The practice is about the intention of cultivating mettā. We might feel it, but we might not. We meet whatever arises with “affectionate curiosity” and with befriending. We learn “to sustain the intention of befriending”. (p.24) Thich Nhat Hahn has used a…
January 15 – Harmful and beneficial feelings
Dear Friends, Welcome to the beginning of our third week together! As you recommit to your intention for practice, here are some helpful words just posted on Tara Brach’s Facebook page: It is helpful to start your meditation with a reflection on what matters to you. Some meditation students bring to mind an all-encompassing aspiration, while others focus on a particular intention for the sitting or the day. For instance, you might connect with your aspiration for loving fully or decide to embrace whatever difficult emotions arise during your practice. You might aspire to the truth— to really see what is happening and what is real— or you might have the particular intention to recognize and let go of thoughts. When you begin by asking your heart what matters, you are already on the path to presence. This week, we’ll continue exploring feeling, and then move into mind states. Chapter…
January 22 – Awakening the heart of compassion
Dear Friends, I was inspired and grateful to the people here in Saskatoon and all around the globe that assembled yesterday for events supporting the Women’s March on Washington. (I regret that I wasn’t in attendance.) I have a set of “Compassion Cards” from Pema Chödrön, which have a set of slogans on one side and brief commentary on each slogan on the other side. One that I came across fit the reflections from yesterday’s email on why we practice, and speaks to the efforts that are needed in this world: When the world is filled with evil, transform all mishaps into the path of bodhi. Whatever problems occur in your life, instead of reacting to them in the usual habitual way, you could transform them into the path of the bodhi heart. That is, you could awaken your compassionate and open heart. Use the tonglen approach and breathe in the pain of the…
January 21 – Why practice?
Dear Friends, The ninth talk in Andrea Fella’s Daily Life Practice Retreat from April 2016 looks at what we do in this practice, and why we’re doing it. What we’re doing is exploring wise mindfulness – knowing what is happening in the present moment while it is happening. We know that we know; we are aware that we are aware. Turning and knowing what’s happening in the present moment can be extremely powerful for us as it helps us learn about our hearts and minds. From that, it can free us from the ways we get caught and struggle in our lives. So this “ordinary” quality of knowing that we know needs to be cultivated with a particular perspective – to understand the quality of our minds, why we struggle. Andrea F gave an example that our attention to know anger (or whatever is arising) in the present moment as…
January 29 – light RAIN
Dear Friends, From Shantideva, an eighth-century Buddhist master: There’s nothing that does not grow light Through habit and familiarity. Putting up with little cares I’ll train myself to bear with great adversity. In chapter 5 of True Refuge, Tara Brach suggests a way of dealing with these “little cares” through a process she calls “light RAIN” – a way you can practice this during the day, in just a minute or two. Briefly, the steps are: Recognize emotional reactivity Pause by taking three full breaths, and Allow your inner experience to be as it is Investigate with kindness whatever feelings are most predominant Resume activity, and notice if there is more Natural presence You can read a summary of the practice here: https://www.nicabm.com/finding-true-refuge-with-tara-brach/ The light RAIN practice gives us opportunities to work with the little cares in the day, and then, as Shantideva suggests, we’ll be better prepared to bear…
January 24 – forgiveness
Dear Friends, Tara Brach’s website has several suggestions on maintaining a daily practice, and she includes these tips that are likely relevant to most of us: If you miss practice for a day, a week, or a month, simply begin again. Don’t judge your practice — rather, accept what unfolds and trust your capacity to awaken and be free (you can read the full list towards the bottom of this page: https://www.tarabrach.com/howtomeditate/) So perhaps, you may have missed a few days, or you may have hit some tough spots in your practice. That’s not a problem. But I know it can feel like a problem. That’s where I find a forgiveness practice can be helpful. Tara Brach has a section in her book True Refuge, which has been adapted on her website, that discusses self-forgiveness, and includes a practice. https://www.tarabrach.com/self-forgiveness-and-making-amends/ Practice link at the bottom of that page, or here:…
January 10 – compassionate acceptance
Dear Friends, Here we are, already into the second week of January. Maybe, like me, you’ve hit a few bumps on your path based on the intention you’ve set for the month/day/year. When that happens, my default behavior is to get down on myself. And then I get down on myself for getting down on myself… In her book Radical Acceptance, Tara Brach tells a story from Anthony de Mello, a Jesuit priest. He said he was neurotic, depressed, and selfish. His friends told him to change, and while he agreed with them, no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t. Then one day, a friend said to him, “Don’t change. I love you just as you are.” De Mello writes: “Those words were music to my ears: Don’t change, Don’t change. Don’t change… I love you as you are. I relaxed. I came alive. And suddenly I changed!” One…
January 1 – set your intention
Dear Friends, This past May, I had an opportunity to sit with Susie Harrington and Anne Cushman at the Lost Coast Retreat. As we neared the end of the retreat, Anne shared her tips on “How To Maintain A Daily Practice of Almost Anything“. The first step is “Set Your Intention.” Many of you are familiar with Jeanne’s analogy: she likens intention to geese flying south for the winter. Jeanne reminds us the geese are often off-course, having been buffeted by various weather systems along the way. Yet, through their innate intention, the geese are able make the necessary corrections to ultimately arrive at their destination. I invite you to consider what your intention is as we embark on this month-long journey together. What will help you make the necessary corrections as you get buffeted by the inevitable weather systems? Anne Cushman suggests, “Get very clear about what you want…