Dear Friends,
With right view, we understand that actions have consequences, and that suffering is caused by the way we cling. Right intention helps aim towards cultivating less suffering by renouncing grasping, and cultivating goodwill and compassion. So with our hearts and minds thus aligned, we can now take this intention into the world. So enters the next three path factors, which focus on ways we can build more harmonious relationships.
The third path factor is right (or wise or skillful) speech.
In the discourses, right speech is defined this way: “And what is right speech? Abstaining from lying, abstaining from divisive speech, abstaining from abusive speech, abstaining from idle chatter: This is called right speech.” (SN 45.8)
The fourth mindfulness training from Thich Nhat Hanh beautifully encompasses the various aspects of wise speech:
Loving Speech and Deep Listening
Aware of the suffering caused by unmindful speech and the inability to listen to others, I am committed to cultivating loving speech and compassionate listening in order to relieve suffering and to promote reconciliation and peace in myself and among other people, ethnic and religious groups, and nations. Knowing that words can create happiness or suffering, I am committed to speaking truthfully using words that inspire confidence, joy, and hope. When anger is manifesting in me, I am determined not to speak. I will practice mindful breathing and walking in order to recognize and to look deeply into my anger. I know that the roots of anger can be found in my wrong perceptions and lack of understanding of the suffering in myself and in the other person. I will speak and listen in a way that can help myself and the other person to transform suffering and see the way out of difficult situations. I am determined not to spread news that I do not know to be certain and not to utter words that can cause division or discord. I will practice Right Diligence to nourish my capacity for understanding, love, joy, and inclusiveness, and gradually transform anger, violence, and fear that lie deep in my consciousness.
“The Five Mindfulness Trainings”
https://plumvillage.org/mindfulness/the-5-mindfulness-trainings
It’s a challenging practice, and staying attuned to our wise intentions can help us insert a little pause when we might otherwise blurt out something unskillful.
I love the WAIT check-in for this purpose: “Why Am I Talking?” When I can drop in WAIT, I can feel into my body and notice if there’s agitation or anger or assumptions or something else that is in the driver’s seat, instead of wise intentions. When I can WAIT, then I have a better chance of listening deeply, and responding skillfully.
What do you notice with your speech today?
With good wishes,
Andrea
I wonder if sometimes speech is used a way of filling up a silence that one feels uncomfortable in? And because it may not be part of a flowing conversation, it may be unwise.